never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
