The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The power of my boobs compel you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
