I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
