Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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