Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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