Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
