remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
