But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
