You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
