My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
