That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
