You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
