Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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