AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
