i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
