her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
