guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ttyl tear gas
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
