Dual....:-)
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize