Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
babies were throwing up all over the place
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
