How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
