Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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