you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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