The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
