Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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