her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
