walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
