he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
