just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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