That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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