Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize