last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
