Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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