Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
