You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
