just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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