I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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