Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He felt like a one man threesome
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
