Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize