Have you finally orgasmed yet?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
