A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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