White coat. Heels.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just threw up on my dentist
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
