I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
