69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
