And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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