If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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