listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Blood and glitter go together right?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
