I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
