I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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