My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
