I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
