he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
