Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
