Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
