I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
