oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
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Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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