I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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