You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We got so high we made milksteak
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
