Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
